This year has been one of tremendous growth for me. I’ve had so many opportunities to realign my ideal self with my real self and it’s been tough but I know that I am becoming. In past years, I’ve always had a hard time during the cold holiday season, growing distant isolated and, most of all, disgusted by the way we as Americans celebrate Christmas.
But this year that isn’t the case. I’ve made peace with the mass consumerism and shopping mall zombies. I understand the need to rejoice for the Christ is born, even if the date is a bit off. I can relate to the fat man in a red velvet suit and a big bag of gifts flying a reindeer sleigh through the air parking on your roof and coming down your chimn — okay, the Santa Clause thing is still a bit weird…
But the point is, I’ve become more understanding of why we, as human beings, must tell ourselves these fantastic stories to come together. Every year is tough, with the positivity of January 1st slowly circling the drain, washing away the high hopes that we all had for a better year than the last, when in reality requires that most of us fail to achieve everything we wanted. When that reality starts to set in, most of us just want to escape into the little bit of refuge that we can find. We want to escape into each other.
Rather that escape be into the joyful innocence of our children as they smile in surprise, the pure and eternal love from our savior (You the man…er baby, Jesus!), or the chance to cop that television you really wanted we all just want a reason to continue, when deep down we know that next year will be the same as last. We’re all just trying to find a fire to warm ourselves beside, if only for a little while.
In past years, I was disillusioned and disgusted by the holiday season. This year, I’m still aware of the absurdity of it all but now I can smile at it. The only difference is my capacity for compassion.
Oh and plus my girlfriend bought me this really dope bluetooth speaker that I’m using right now to listen to some Miles Davis. That helps too.